Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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