i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize