But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
