haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
