you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
