No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
