Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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