it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
this will be a night to untag.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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