He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
