What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
