I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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