It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
