i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
