She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
