I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
How's work?
Spinning.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize