hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
