margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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