Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
