New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
