I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
