i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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