YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Mom said you looked used
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
