Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
