I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize