Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
