his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
