Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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