Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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