The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
