just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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