Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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