I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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