Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
