idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
