if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
