So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
