It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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