Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
