Christians are straight up FREAKS
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
