My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
