Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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