just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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