Ambien. No doubt about it.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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