Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
