he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
