just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
