I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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