My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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