Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
