I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
