ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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