I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
