Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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