i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
