so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
