Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
