I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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