yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
