i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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