I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
