; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize