Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just high enough for therapy.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
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