his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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