Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
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The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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