i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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