This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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